Sunday 22 June 2008 at 8:41 pm
1984ish - 2008
May it forever rest in peace under the shade of the Grand Cedar, basking in the shallow beams of sunlight that Sol shall provide at the proper angles. May it rest from its cancerous battle, from standing so tall for so many years; may it slowly go to sleep as the birds chirp in their playful callings, and may it sleep as it is frequented by the curious frogs. May its strong trunk last until my final days.
This must not end.
Tuesday 03 June 2008 at 2:04 pm
So Glenfather was in the hospital for a few days for having pnemonia. At least he was in good spirits. Dad visited him yesterday and took him home. And gave him a ton of slides and photos. He was looking at them this morning, saw some awesome color photos from 1953 Honalulu!
So Friday instead of rehearsing my band decided to record two songs. We did The Choice and Restless. We just did instrumental backing tracks, it was our third take for Choice but we nailed it on our first for Restless. Then Dave had to redo the solo for Choice, he managed to do it on the 4th time I think. Then the vocals, Chris took several takes and some cutting and pasting to get a good vocal take on Choice, and he wasn't happy with what he had for Restless but I ended up using the second take for now. I'm still mixing things, but everything sounds so good! Its amazing how my Rode mics sound on Chris's voice. The SM58 he uses is so boomy and makes him hard to understand, but the NT2-A makes it so clear!
On Saturday Merrie came over. Without anybody knowing. We chilled a bit before heading into Portland to chill with Larry. We wandered aimlessly downtown until we hit this pretty good restaurant. I try so hard to eat more vegetarian but sometimes I find difficulty. So we go back to Larry's place to stay the night. We stay up and I watch Terminator 2 for the whole way through for the first time (on Blu-Ray, no doubt!).
This is really hard to explain; I swear there was something in the early 90s about American cinema. It had reached a point where everything was really good. We got over the cheezy soundtracks of the 80s, the cheezy special effects of the 80s, and a lot of movies just come together so well. T2 is a brilliant film. Sure, the hair styles of the kids may be dated, but everything else still feels modern. The film quality, the special effects, everything. Despite being a 17 year old movie, it doesn't feel like an older film.
Watching it on Blu-Ray in 720p on a 50" TV, I was surprised at how well the film transfer was. No scratches, but you could barely make out some film grain of the type if you went to a good theater. It was as if I was watching it in the theater. Which was cool.
As I've said in the past, soundtracks of the early 90s kick ass. I've always had a problem with film soundtracks being lame and cheezy, especially evident nowadays. Even someone like John Williams is a hit and miss. But T2's soundtrack had something to it; the right tones, the right progressions; the ending music hit a spot in me. Yes, the soundtrack involved a synthesizer and military drums primarily, but it worked, and it sounded great. Brilliant use of pads and smooth sounding synths.
The special effects are of special note. Despite using CGI in its infancy for the T-1000, it was cool. This movie was made back when CGI was cool, and I don't know if its just nostalgia in me, but it still feels cool. The overuse of CGI nowadays really bothers me; stunts and scenes that could actually be done with "practical" effects look so much better. The early 90s was a prime time for this, for the cheezy effects of the 80s had been perfected, and you are presented with top notch action that looks good. And the CGI, of course, was pretty damn cool, and still is. It doesn't seem fake or cheezy like many other older CGI effects look.
Its like watching early 90s is nostalgic for me. I mean, I didn't even see anything from T2 until I was in middle school, or for another example, Last of the Mohicans was first watched merely several months ago. But I still get this nostalgic feeling by watching these movies. Maybe because I watched a lot of movies in the early 90s from the matinee tickets we got from school. I don't know. But its well done. Many movies were well done. The pinnacle of film-making before CGI (or the overuse thereof).
Sleep less then 5 hours and go to work early Sunday morning. Have to work 15 minutes late because Jacob called in sick and we had to scramble to find someone to replace me at the Electronics counter. Go back to Larry's, snuggle/nap with Merrie who had only been awake two hours, wait for Larry, head to my place, then go off to Washington to see Rush.
It was fucking badass.
I mean, really fucking badass.
I knew less then half the songs. They played about 8 songs from their latest album, and its really heavy stuff, akin to their late 70s sound, and a welcome change from their overuse of synthesizers and "soft" music that they did in the mid to late 80s. Pretty sweet. Surprised they didn't do Fly by Night or Closer to the Heart. But by god, they did 2112. 2112! Fucking spiffy and kick ass. Closing with YYZ, my second favorite song of theirs! Now I don't care what anybody thinks, but the opening riff to YYZ is perhaps the single most heavy piece of music ever composed. Fuck all these Death Metal bands, Rush owns their soul.
Despite being in their mid 50s, they still rock like they're in their 30s. They have been continually touring and recording albums since 1974, and have not slowed down since. They aren't a washed up classic like the Rolling Stones, Jethro Tull, the Who, even Paul McCartney. Sure, they do occasionally have albums made in the past 10 years, but they usually don't do very well, and no one remembers those songs. At the Who concert, people sat down during their Wire & Glass mini-opera from their 2006 album. Its like they didn't care. But Rush, its like they have not passed that point yet, and are still fresh as if they are a newer band.
I'm buying Snakes and Arrows as soon as I have the chance.
This week will be hell. I have a Business Plan due tomorrow that I haven't physically started yet (though I have mostly planned out, so its a matter of just typing up the documents and spreadsheets), rock climbing assignments due Thursday, a group paper and presentation in Retail Management that is going down the shitter because one person flaked, and a big project and role-play session in Sales Class this week. Frankly, I'm not scared about my actual final tests (am I ever?), its just these damn projects and large assignments that I'm stressing out about.
In case I haven't mentioned it yet, I found my keys.
Tuesday 27 May 2008 at 8:39 pm
Today is Nick Barron's birthday. I saw him at work yesterday and I forgot to mention something until he was already gone :( It is also the 3 year anniversary of my last day of school! :D
Friday we had band rehearsal, and having figured out how to route the vocal mic through my recording rig and into the speaker (aka bass amp jury-rigged to playback vocals) I can now record vocals while rehearsing with them at the same time. So aside from a small hard drive mishap, I recorded most of the songs for our setlist. A lot of them came out pretty well, I was gonna have it mixed over the weekend but I was rudely interupted by the presence of Merrie on Saturday morning ;) And before I thought she'd be here at the earliest! Needless to say her appearence generated happiness in me!
Since people are lame and have to go 'camping' on Memorial Day because for some odd reason living in a forcefully less comfortable enviornment celebrates the soldiers that have died in the name of America, we had a lower crowd turnout that Saturday night at our gig then on the Wednesday in April. We probably had 15+ people the entire night though, and I'd say 10 of them came just for us, so our presence was a boon for the venue. We played pretty well, better then on the April show. I got to show off for Merrie too! :D
So I get up for work fucking early on Sunday, and live through the day. Its amazing how well one sleeps sitting up in the break room at work. I get home, Merrie and I visit the woods, and on our way back, somewhere, I lost my fucking keys.
My drumkey that Chris O'donnel gave us my sophomore year, my cool red house key I got in 7th grade, my car keys Dad gave me when I got my permit, and worst of all, my old house key.
Needless to say I was beyond pissed. I tried not to show it to Merrie. I'm quite good at keeping emotions in. I'd like to think I was successful this time. Oh well.
Metal detectors are fucking expensive. On Craigslist they range from $50 to $200+, and at GI Joes the cheapest one was about $60. I'll have to check in on their return policy, but I'm thinking of picking that up tomorrow and looking one more time. Or several more times.
I will find them, god dammit.
Tuesday 20 May 2008 at 5:50 pm
I fixed everything so comments work. But everything else went back to the defaults so I have to put all my links and settings back in. I also have to come up with a good name for this blog. I liked the old one but it was slightly dated.
In an unrelated note, yesterday was Star Wars day, but I forgot to celebrate. I don't know how I would, it hasn't been terribly long since I last saw the films. But it was worth noting. And tomorrow is the 9 year anniversary of me seeing Phantom Menace. I don't care what some people think, aside from a single character, it was a really good film. But those were definitly epic times.
This weekend I have my next gig, and Merrie is coming over. Mom is being mom, and won't let her stay three nights without giving any reason. Of course I could press for one, but she would give me some bullshit response as "I don't want to be put on the spot..." blah blah blah. Mom runs her entire life based on how embarrsed she is. I'm serious too. We were talking on the MAX last week about the $300 stimulus checks we all should be getting, and how Larry told me we will receive them according to the last two numbers of our social security number. She proceeds to say to me, as if I'm still 12, "Well don't say it out loud."
I, trying to be more like me instead of putting up a false face like I've been doing for decades, won't put up with that, and I quip back with "Mom, I'm not a moron." Of course, I said it pretty loud, so obviously everybody on the MAX heard me, and obviously they all care too. Now she's pissed at me because I embarressed her, and that it wasn't fair because she was quiet. I could not care less if she was loud, the opinion of those in the MAX do not concern me. Her opinion does, and the fact that she said what she said, regardless of volume, is what matters. Does she even consider that?
No, its all in image.
She never likes it when I talk about my political beliefs out loud. Sure army guys and businessmen can go on and on about their conservative beliefs, but poor little old me can't say a word in public, in the case that I offend someone. Well you know what? Fuck them. If they get pissed, that's their problem. I will not hide behind our fucked up society and its standards. I'm opening up, and being more open in my opposition to this terrible truth. But Mom doesn't want to get embaressed.
Anyway, my grand plan was to have Merrie come over around the time I get home from work Friday night, go to the gig Saturday night, I work Sunday morning while she works on homework, we chill out the rest of the day, and hang out for most of Monday until I have to work again Monday evening. Saturday is really our only full day, Sunday is gonna be spent mostly napping and working, and Monday we only have half a day. Its not like I'm gonna have that much time with her.
If she stays for two nights, and she comes over on Friday night, well, there's like an hour we will spend together before she goes to sleep, and Monday is completely out. If she comes over Saturday morning (which, I'm sorry to say, but probably wouldn't happen until early afternoon ;) ) then she'll be here Monday for the half day but we miss out on most of Saturday, plus I won't come home to see her after a long evening of work!
Its such a challenge sometimes.
I honestly wonder how long Mom would have liked Dad to stay over when he'd drive from Burns. Maybe I can use this as a weapon.
I will win.
Monday 12 May 2008 at 3:45 pm
It has been a great weekend. Band rehearsal on Friday, sunny as hell. Drive down to Corvallis (got a late start due to a bunch of shit) find Merrie, who looked absolutly hot, wander around campus a little bit finding a computer for me to use to complete my homework (you can read more about our adventures and the juicy details on her blog), and other present-tense verbs describing events in the past. I leave her early on Sunday to go to a family function at Uncle Gary's house in Salem, which was alright. Michael is insane at Guitar Hero; he turns 10 this year. I noticed that he's starting to slow down, his ADD is not as bad as it has been even 6 months ago. He was pretty cocky about him being able to play on Expert, but I play at Medium and beat him in a face off.
I go to Guitar Center to pick up new top and bottom heads for my toms (huge fucking purchase, it'll be something like $70) but they closed minutes before I got there. So I drive all the way to work, to figure out my schedule for the first half of Memorial Weekend (when my next gig is), to get my paychecks, and to pick up a computer game I've been wanting awhile and David has been pestering me about it. My paychecks are small, but I seemingly forgot to pick up my last one, so I had two checks waiting for me totalling almost $400. Plus my tax return has come in; I now have over $1500 in my checking account. Time to look out for my new car.
After I got home, I checked up on a drum contest I have entered. Over at Musician Forums, one of the forum members, a Mr. Pink, was offering up this expensive bass pedal for his second contest (his last contest he offered up a nice Pork Pie snare drum, but the requirement was a video with extra points for llamas and dancing chicks. I tried to convince Merrie to dance for me but she would not). I did this little diddly, sped it up, used an intense phaser, and added reverb. I overdubbed myself adlibbing random crap like "Llama" (Mr Pink loves llamas), and set it to a robotic sounding autotuner set to the C Pentatonic scale. Well, I find out I won. This Trick pedal is $330 at most online retailers; DW 5000 single pedals, which is usually cited as one of the mainstay professional pedals, is a little bit under $200. So I'm really getting a treat here. Needless to say, I'm way excited.
I was going to do something with Larry today, but he's sick and has to drive his roomate around because he's selling his car (leaving the two with Larry's Kharman Ghia). He did not sound too happy. So I can forgive him for that.
But most importantly, on this day, I will never forget. Our souls are the lifesupport to those other souls that have lost their physical form. Our minds and our love makes them real.
Give peace a chance.
Tuesday 06 May 2008 at 2:50 pm
Freewill is a beautiful thing. Being able to do what you want when you set your mind to it. Anything is possible. Yeah, I sound like one of those god damned motivational speakers that go to high schools making the preps and jocks fired up and giving the cynisists endless amounts of entertainment. But y'know, it is the truth.
Someone like me, who takes this philosophy and embraces it in day to day life, would be distraught when you find an obstecle so powerful, that even the best intentions, the best energies, the best motivations, the best skill, will not be passed. And the only thing that can block freewill is the freewill of another person (or gravity).
Maybe I am overanalyitical. I'd like to think I am not. But I always like to know why things are the way things are. Why I believe something. Why I know something. If I believe in something, I want to know how and why. Throughout my years, I have run into endless people who can't even do that. You can run circles around them with logic. They have formulated a belief system in themselves, but they cannot give me a basic reason why that is so. Blame it on the oppression of western society. Blame it on Abrahamic religions. It can be anything really.
What are these people, though, if they define themselves through vapor? There is no self definition. They are given definition by external sources. That is not good. How can you be you, when there is no you?
To those five of you reading this (I'm pretty negative and depressed right now, but I'm deciding that my viewing audience has increased to counter-balance this ailment), all it takes is to answer these questions:
* Who are you?
* What do you want?
* Why are you here?
* Where are you going?
Shoosh, David, let's pretend I'm original here! ;)
If you are able to answer even the first one correctly, then that's good enough for me. The third question is the important one, though. It is easy to say "God sent me" but that's not the type of answer I would be looking for. The final question needs to be done after the epitome. We all already know where the epitome is (and no, it is not death) but there is always life afterward. The epitome is created upon answering the first three.
As each day passes, I grow so sick and tired of playing nice to appease the status quo of society. I choose to do this out of a multitude of reasons; maybe I have not fully disconnected myself from the strings of society. Of course, I doubt anybody could do this without being a hermit, but I still have a few more strings to deattach. I do not like seeing people hurt. Especially those close. I appease. I appease. I appease. And I fucking appease even more.
Attachment should not require appeasement. Attachment is two people for who they are. How many relationships (both romantic and not) are like this? Very, very, few. My will that is free wants to fix problems. But this cannot be. The energies required to diagnose the problem is intense, the solution long and slow. Does it need to be like this? Not necessarily. I remain calm and try, in great vain, to find different avenues of solutions. Is this the way to do this? If I held no restraint, I will fight problems head on, with great intensity. I will back down when I'm presented with loopholes in my own logic.
But alas, I can't do this. I don't want to hurt anybody.
Why am I bothering typing this? I'm reading back and I realize its a bunch of mumbo jumbo that makes no sense. I am tired, I am depressed. I hate leaving conversations on such sour notes. I try to fix them. I can't. I am not allowed to fix those problems. I am blocked from creating rejuvinated happiness. I can't stand this.
I sat in my shower for half an hour this morning, half of it in a fetal position, feeling the calm, warm splashes of water droplets on my back, on my hair, on my legs. It is minor treatment for feeling like crap. I wanted to stay in there for an hour. I didn't want to go to school today. Why bother? I was so distracted while driving to rock climbing. I could not stop thinking about last night. I just want to sit and think. And feel. It is pointless and accomplishes nothing, but it allows me to relax in my stress. Hell, I'm even skipping my afternoon class right now because I have zero desire to go (and no real reason to go today, either). What can release this stressful depression from my soul? What is the lubricant to unhinge this deadbolt?
I know what the answer is. I think.
Thursday 01 May 2008 at 7:01 pm
It is May Day. May the middle class lead the working poor out of their poverty and strip the unethical aristocracy of their uncontested power!
Workers of the world, unite!
Tuesday 22 April 2008 at 3:47 pm
I have crazy dreams periodically.
A dream I commonly had in middle and high school (but don't seem to have it anymore) was me running on a track, and tripping on myself. My knees jolted up as I woke up. Absolutly crazy.
I don't recall what I dreamt about last night exactly, but there is a common detail that I have noticed in my dreams in the past. I don't really have a fear of being high up. I stood on the CN Tower, looking down through the glass floor. I didn't really stand on it, but I didn't have too much a fear either. I stood on the Empire State Building. The Space Needle. You name it. I've done it.
Okay, going off track, but I have had multiple dreams about crossing the Portland bridges and the bridges not have any railings. The first dream of this type that I had several years ago I was crossing the Broadway Bridge (even though in my dream it didn't look like the Broadway Bridge) in a car and there were no railings on the side. At all. The bridge was also a draw bridge (which the Broadway is not) and the bridge would draw with no warning. I had a similar dream later where I drove across the bridge, and felt paranoid. I also had similar dreams, except it was with the Interstate Bridge. I had constant dreams over the past year of driving north on I-5 (but it was the I-5 further up in Washington, around the Trojan Power Plant area) and afraid that I would accidentally cross the Interstate Bridge, which had no railings. Like it was a huge fear of mine, I had to make the turn-off before reaching the bridge.
Last night, I had a dream where I was walking all over the place on both sides of the river, and I would cross random bridges, starting at the Ross Island and heading north. There were no railings, and I was deathly afraid of falling off. In fact, one time I did slip, and I held on for dear life to the side, but pulled myself up. Later I was paranoid that my keys could have slipped through the hole in my pockets (that I have in real life) but luckily they didn't. I can't lose my keys. I just can't.
I was almost mugged downtown, too. There was an older, larger lady that just grabbed my arm, and pretty much told me to "Come with us down this street here, we have something we have to sell you" (she was accompanied by a younger man). Interestingly enough they were also black. Does this mean that deep down inside I am rasicst? Well, I'd like to think not, but everybody is prejudiced to some degree, whether it actually manifests itself or not. I forcefully shrugged myself away, and ran.
That was boring.
Today is Earth Day. I got out of class early, early enough for me to go home to spend a few hours before heading back to school for my boring night class. I'm biting the bullet and saving the gas. It'll give me time to work on homework, or take a nap without distractions from Morrowind or any other game that I'm engaged in right now. There is nothing anywhere I can see about Earth Day. Even on the Internet. There has been far more interest on April 20th (National Pot Smoker's Day) than Earth Day. Jesus Christ, shows where our society places its values. Green before Green. Hahaha, I just made a funny.
I saw a couple of excellent 'jazz' combo groups today in the Student Center between rock climbing and retail management. Both drummers make me feel like I'm crap. In the past 3 years, I have barely advanced in skill. I could watch a video of me playing my senior year and think "wow, that's the same shit I do now." If only I kept on advancing and had not plateud in my skills, I would be far better and more competent at kicking ass. Alas, I'm a mediocre college aged drummer.
Saturday I see Merrie! Yay! As always, go to her blog for the juicy details!
Friday 11 April 2008 at 4:48 pm
So the Wednesday night gig ended well, though not as good as I hoped. I get there 45 minutes before anybody else, due to the insistence of dad following me part of the way to make sure the van didn't break down. I wait in the parking lot until Chris shows up with a bunch of his friends, so we walk in, find the stage, and begin setting our stuff up.
I didn't really have anything before hand, just a couple of sips from my parent's beer glasses. Nobody ever bothered checking my ID or anything, probably because I didn't actually order anything. So yeah, Chris and Dave brought a decent crowd, my parents and brother come, and my mom's co-worker Matt shows up.
We start our set. I don't have any monitors so all I'm hearing is Dave's amp straight out. I rock out Drive like usual, Hey Joe, go through the first set just great. Dave messes up a few times but no one seems to notice. Not ONE of my friends shows up. I even called up both Larry and Yvette earlier that day. Yvette said she was bringing a bunch of people and some people were even coming seperately. Not one soul from that crowd.
The second set, a bunch of people have already left because they work that next day, including my parents, brother, and Matt. So there's about 8 people watching us now, plus anybody who was listening at the bar. Chris's voice was dying, so we stopped at 3:49 and left out Sympathy for the Devil. I didn't have that much fun knowing that none of my friends were there, but Dave insisted the second set was much better. It was great overall, I love playing out. Somebody got my a shot of Jack afterwards, chilled out for about an hour before heading home.
So today, somebody comes to get the Honda, and our van dies. Oil leaking everywhere. Shit, I work tonight! Luckily granddad is going to take me in tonight, but now we're all frantically looking for a second vehicle. I think my dad's finally had it with the van. I'm just a few hundred short in my bank account to get a decent 15-20 year old car.
But regardless, the title of the Honda Civic DX is no longer ours. We have had this car since the beginning, from the summer of 1994 to now. This is rather hard on me, being the ultra-sentimentalist sort that I am. I remember going to the dealer numerous times during the purchase process. I remember shopping around at different dealers. I remember the salesperson! Unlike our other vehicles, I can remember getting this vehicle. I don't remember getting the Toyota, though I do have memories that predate the Toyota. I remember riding in the Gold Toyota quite a bit, and I remember the Courior but don't remember riding in it at all.
I remember when the Honda got broken into, when it got stolen, when we took it to Thermopolis twice, into Canada, taking it to Orlando, riding in it everywhere. I remember driving it and hating its clutch. The countless car trips. David and I arguing over room in the backseat.
And now its gone. To be cannibalized probably.
There's some aspects about myself I wish were different, so something as trivial and stupid as this doesn't affect me.
Imagine the wreck I'll be in when it's the Toyota's turn. That's something I'd rather not think about.
Monday 07 April 2008 at 6:43 pm
Man, if only my comments worked, that last entry would have sparked some interesting points and opinions.
The drum tracks for my opera are done, and I'm mostly finished with the organ and synth parts. But finding a damn bass player! ARGH! Nearly impossible. And trying to sell surplus musical stuff is next to impossible. E-mail people, call them.....Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, is it really that hard to be at least semi-responsible? In this case, I'm a fucking genius.
I have a gig on Wednesday night. Playing two 45 minute sets. Should be cool. Mom, Dad, and David will be going, I'm gonna check in and see if Larry can go, maybe take his new "friend" along. Yvette's also bringing a "bunch" of people with her. Alas, Merrie can't make it for logistical reasons :( But it should be a good crowd.
When it comes to gigs, I don't care who shows up, I just want fucking people there. This is why I'm inviting Yvette and her group of people, just to make bodies in the audience. I'll probably spend most of my time chilling with Larry (if he decides to go), which will probably keep her away from me, knowing how much those two love each other.
I'm totally preparing myself for the swarms of nubile women throwing their underwear at me.
